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Despitefully Used



People can be mean. People can be hurtful. People can even become hostile to the point of not only hurting, but attacking, abusing, and killing. It is not easy to withstand the verbal and physical abuses of another person. It is even more chilling when they group together and join forces to inflict their pain and destruction.

What sparked this thought? Well, I was intrigued by a statement made by Jesus referring to our enemies. This statement only appears two times in the entire New Testament. Both references are found in Matthew 5:44 and Luke 6:28. It says“…pray for them which despitefully use you.” Have we ever stopped to wonder what “despitefully using” someone looks like? We need to know because Jesus requires us to pray for such people.

The phrase “despitefully use” means to “treat abusively,” “to accuse falsely,” “to threaten,” or “to revile” (insult/condemn/censure/berate). Jesus says to pray for these people who dreadfully do these kinds of things to others. The hope, in doing so, is that they will change, reconcile, seek forgiveness, and accept Jesus as Savior (if they aren’t already a Christian).

This is why Jesus commanded in Luke 6:27 and in Matthew 5:44, to love your enemies. This form of love, only made possible by the indwelling Holy Spirit, is what makes it possible to pray for such abusive and destructive people.

The Greek word Jesus uses here is “Agape” or “unconditional” love. We love our enemies “regardless” of what it is they do to us. We love them “on purpose” even when they reject our love and respond in such spiteful ways such as hatred, violence, lawsuits and slanderous accusations….and yes, even if they harm us or try to kill us.

I realize that is truly difficult and may, at first, seem absolutely impossible. The bottom line is this: Jesus will never make exceptions. He will never speak vaguely to provide us “loop holes” to bypass his commands to love others and to pray for them.

Jesus was very clear: We have no grounds in which to justify not loving the not-so-lovable. We don’t get a “pass” or some wiggle-room to ‘change the wording’ and try to make it seem like Jesus meant something different than what he actually said. No excuses. No arbitration. No exceptions. Unconditional love towards all people and to keep praying for them.

Love’s first response to insult, injury, being cheated, fooled, embarrassed, hated…and so on…is not to find the nearest lawyer to sue, to retaliate, to hate or find revenge, but to pray for them, to demonstrate being longsuffering, merciful, gracious and to return kindness and God’s love for everything and anything.

The hope is that your fervent prayers, the radical response of rendering love and mercy to someone would be the catalyst to their life transformation of learning about God’s love so that they can respond by repenting, reconciling and calling upon the Lord for their salvation.

We must get over the “right now” aspect and firmly grasp the “end result” that is well into the future that “one day” their heart will change and the transformation will happen. After all, the overall goal is a long-term commitment to afford people every opportunity to come to know Jesus Christ. In other words, “give it time and give it prayer”….and it will take time. A whole lot of time, in some cases a whole lot of prayer. Be patient…keep praying and let God work in them and in you!

As it says in 2 Peter 3:9, “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

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